Moving Past Denial

You may have heard at some point that there are identified stages to grief.  I have recently been reviewing stages defined by Kubler Ross known as denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance.  These were designed to assist with the process of bereavement, but have also been found to be helpful in dealing with other situations involving loss such as divorce and life changes.

This weekend I had a small revelation when thinking about the first stage, denial.  I started thinking about what it is like to be in denial…

Numb

Moving through the motions

Making decisions out of the wrong place

Disavowing any need for feeling

I began to realize that it is a place where we are blocking God.  He meets us in our various emotions including sadness and grief.  When we choose to remain numb, avoiding our emotional and relational natures, we are not sharing and connecting with him.

Denial is a lonely place. A place where we can remain stuck and isolated.  It is a brick wall, a mask to who you are inside.  Luckily our Father in heaven knows us no matter the stage.  The only problem is we are not relating with him in our place of denial.

1 Peter 5:10 says, And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace who has called you into his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Surrender your emotions.  

Begin the process and do not to prolong the restoration, confirmation, strengthening and establishment of your purpose for his glory.

Who Really Wants to be This Busy?

I sit here today with so many tasks to accomplish; feeling rushed and knowing there is not enough time in my day to tackle all my goals.

I keep asking myself, "Why?".  

Why is it so important to take my child to the doctor, get the house cleaned, the shopping complete, do laundry, change sheets, chauffeur kids to and from school, and meet with friends all in one day?  (Let me put a side note that this is my “day off”.)

Why is it I feel so much better if I accomplish all of these tasks?

Why do I feel anxiety if I see the clock running out before I can check each item off for the day? 

It seems completely irrational to me that my emotional stability is tied to completing tasks, however, here I am knocking out a blog and wondering if I will still have time to vacuum before I pick up the kids…because I will feel better.

Can anyone relate?  Surely I am not alone.

I know this is not healthy, but we all have our own hang ups.

So here is my why answer.

I am placing my self-worth in accomplishments.  I feel like I need a clean home, well stocked kitchen, and time to pretend I have it all together with friends so that I can feel in control.

Crazy that I do this because I KNOW I am not in control.

So lesson learned today is that even though we sometimes know the truth, we do not always apply this knowledge in our actions. 

Take a look at what you have going on. 

Is it reasonable?  Is it healthy? 

Ask yourself what you know to be true and see if your walk is aligned. 

Off to clean!  (Agh!)